Tag Archives: News

Missing My Best Friend – News

I am missing my Best Friend

My eyes are red, swollen and teared up once more as I write this, my remembrances of my Mother and her death. My Mother passed away on November 10th, 2014.

Picture from My Mothers Graduation2011 Christmas Time, I captured these two lovers, My best Friend, my Mother and My Father.

2011 Christmas Time, I captured these two lovers, My best Friend, my Mother and My Father.

I thought I was stronger than what I am, and it hurts that I missed a lot as Mom laid on her death bed, this was all due to my experiencing a severely painful ulcer.  I tried to pack up to go stay with Dad and spend time at Mom’s death bed and I was repeatedly stopped in my tracks as I went into cold sweats and severe stomach pain, stress… oh stressed out so bad. I tried to relax but yet my stomach demanded food all the time and still nauseous and severe burning in my stomach… hunched over I was packed but now only getting 3 hours of sleep at a time. I tried everything I could to ease it, the choice was see the doctor or go to the hospital, I chose to see the doctor. I worked myself into an ulcer during the past 3 months and the news of my Mothers dying brought the ulcer to a severe state. Things are getting a little better now, but still I am not well and I am trying to hold of on the Endoscopy until next month, to see if I can get better on my own. I wish I had more time with Mom at her at her bedside, but I was fortunate that I was able to be strong enough to ignore the pain a few hours at a time and spend a few hours at Mom’s bedside on Friday and a few hours on Saturday, thanks to some medications from the doctor. Several days later my Mother passed away… my husband held me as I wanted to drop to the floor with the pain of loss. Oh how I am missing my best friend, my world is missing one very special and loving person, my Mother.

In Loving Memory of Mom Full Card
Click to read about My Mother and her wonderful life.

Here is her Obituary from The Daily Camera: Click Here

My Sister created a beautiful video here it is:

The thumbnail (the picture before this video starts up) is Mom and me on Valentines Day this year. Mom was teasing me about my cleavage and kept trying to cover my chest up by holding the crochet shawl I made her, over my chest. lol

And my very talented Sister, Michelle Marasch Ouellette also wrote the most wonderful Eulogy:

Our mother’s eyes.

Mom and her artwork
Mom and her artwork

Our mother’s eyes were always trained on beauty, seeking it out in butterflies, flaming mountain skies, the English flower garden behind our Minnesota house or the faces of her children and grandchildren.

I am grateful for those eyes. They taught us to see.

For me, it was a warm summer’s day in Wappinger’s Falls, N.Y. Milty and I sat at a table, looking at an ant. Mom asked us to draw. Like most kids, I drew three circles, then, added some sticks for legs.

“No,” Mom stopped me. “Look, really look. Are those circles?”

I looked. I really looked. They weren’t. They were odd, imperfect, pinched at one end, round and flat at another, and they, in their imperfect form, were far more interesting and beautiful than circles.

This is a lesson that I am still learning – to see life as it really is and not simply as my mind forms it.

Our mother’s hands.

They never rested.

They shaped works of art: sculpted hard metal, molded soft clay, embroidered silk. They wiped childish tears, cleaned soiled seats, scrubbed grape jelly grins.

No, they never rested. They seemed made to clean, to fashion, to create.

Even late night, as we rested, gathering to watch a movie or play a game, those hands would be moving, cleaning, sweeping the floor, planning her latest creation, a grandson’s baptism gown, a new oil painting of a granddaughter or a hand-painted wisteria blooming on the walls of our history room.

Those hands changed us kids, gave us a work ethic, helped turn us all into artists in our own right.

Our mother’s mind.

As a child, our mother was an avid reader. She’d sneak a flashlight and books into bed with her and read all night.

She told me this story once and made me curious. What was there about reading that would make her do that?

So I checked out book after book after book, Nancy Drew and Mom’s favorite “Little Women.”

That summer changed my life. I became a reader.

I know for each of us, the story is different, but I can’t help thinking that Mom’s sharp mind helped guide us, making us what we are today.

Our mother’s heart.

Our mother’s heart was the bearer of love — a fierce love for us, her children, and for my dad.

She used to say she wished she could keep us in shoe boxes — she would love to keep us small. This used to scare me so.

She flew out to see me when my eldest was born. One night, he had such cramps that he howled and howled through the night. She took him from me, cradled him in her arms and sent me to bed while she rocked and rocked and rocked him right into the wee hours.

I think that’s what she wanted to do with each of us, when we had a pain in our hearts, our heads or our bodies — hold us in her arms and rock, rock, rock us gently through our dark, dark night.

This week, in the midst of all her pain, we wanted to return the favor and hold her in our arms all the way through her dark night.

She has made it through, and we are grateful. While we can no longer hold her in our arms, we continue to hold her in our hearts and thank her for all she created with those eyes, that mind, those hands, that heart.

Artwork, Jesus by Nancy Marasch, my Mother
Mom’s Artwork Sample 1
Mom's Poetry to her Mother in her Calligraphy and Artwork.
Mom’s Poetry to her Mother in her Calligraphy and Artwork.

I couldn’t have said it better myself… we have such great gifts of creativity, all of us siblings, we are all Artists now. I learned to and continue to seek out beauty all around me too. I see the beauty in people’s eyes… Mom taught me with her love of others to adopt those around me as brothers, sisters and parents, as she adopted people as Aunts, Uncles etc into our lives when we were kids.

Mom’s eyes were sometimes clouded with her being such a people person and the love of others, and she got hurt sometimes as she befriended some people who ended up hurting her and using her as she was such a giver. She’d call in tears as once again she was hurt by someone taking advantage of her generous nature or saying hateful things and lies. That I too have experienced… I have a lot of her in me, the good and the not so good, but I wouldn’t change a thing, she helped to mold me into the loving, creative person that I am today.

Just a picture of me looking sad. I am so sad now... Missing My Best Friend My Mother.
Just a picture of me looking sad. I am so sad now… Missing My Best Friend My Mother.

Not all of Mom’s lessons took. Mom tried to make me stronger, I’ve always been overly sensitive. As an adult I learned to cry in private, in most cases putting a strong brave face out for the world to see… however right now I am a weak little ball of mush, all too emotional to sensitive. Really, at this time, I don’t care who sees my tears, my pain and my broken heart. I cry as I write this. Mom always said, “Mariah, don’t cry…” I would try not to cry, but her saying that made me break down more, every time. She sensed when I was near tears, even before they flowed. During the rosary reading (the night before Mom’s funeral) I heard my Mothers voice in my head saying “Mariah don’t cry,” and of course I broke down worse and cried very hard.  I think it hurt her deeply to see her child cry, and she was trying to make me stronger. During her funeral I again tried not to cry, as I was sure she was looking down on us… hey, what can I say it didn’t work. I have never cried so hard and hurt so… my heart is broken as I am missing my best friend, my Mother.

Love and hugs,

Your Teary Eyed Blogger, Mariah

PS: Sponsors, and Followers, please excuse my absence as I go through this most difficult time. My ulcer and my broken heart are slowly mending and I will be back soon as I can with the over due reviews, and some DIY projects too!

 

 

 

A Quick Note – Comments Problem- Blog Announcement

News Boy with animated words "EXTRA"I am experiencing technical difficulties folks. Something turned off my comments on my newest post for the $50 GC giveaway. As a result I am seeking a resolution at this time. The blog may be off line, off and on, for a while as I disable all plugins and re-enable them all one at a time.

I will try to repair this on my own… and if that doesn’t work I am calling support from my host, since I pay extra for some help I may as well use that. In the mean time please go visit my friend and former blogging partner, Joan at her blog, I am sure she has some really great giveaways up and running right now. 🙂 Here is the LINK to Joan’s Blog.

I will announce when the blog is fully functional again, thank you for your patience. And as always, I really appreciate your following my blog and entering my giveaways.

Love and hugs,
Mariah

New Cell Phone Equals More Instagram – Blog News

 

Howdy everyone and happy Friday!

Just a quick note here today. I am pleased to announce that our 7 year old cell phones are retiring! As of yesterday we opted to update our cell phones to the newer HCT One M8 Cell Phones. It’s a big chunk on our T-Mobile bill as we pay extra for two mobile phones for 24 months, but our cell phones no longer had the ability to do much at all, including locking up and out juice in the batteries after 2 uploads to Instagram. My phone didn’t even have the capability to upload videos to Instagram at all.

HTC One M8Finally out of frustration with our cell phones no being able to use hardly any of the Apps we used, and not being able to upload or update apps, we threw our hands up and surrendered. Yes we are frugal, 7 years time and those old mobile phones look like they were from Caveman Days as we try to learn the new phones and what they can do.

Before we update any technology, we research, research, and (need I say it?) RESEARCH… we check for all the ins and outs, pros and cons with products out there and we were sure that this model was the perfect one for us and had the most bells and whistles. Besides we love Android phones! lol

The old cell was no longer supported to hook up to my pc, so I was very concerned about losing pictures, apps, ringtones etc from the old phone. I am currently downloading the HCT sync on my old phone.  Who’d know that even though your old cell phone is no longer on your Cell Phone Network that you can use your WiFi to upload to your old cell phone? I had no idea. I can’t wait to set up the new Cell like the other one was set up and be able to update old apps, gather new apps and use Instagram once more.

So far, I have to play around with the new phone, and learn how to use the newest of technology. I am excited that the HCT One M8 Cell phone has a front facing camera! While I was able to use the old cell phone on Instagram I had to take the picture from the reverse side of the phone so I had to go fishing for the spot to click on the other side to take a selfie. Now I have front and back lenses to choose from and the reverse side of the phone also has LED flash! Yay… time for fun, as soon as I get this set up here. 🙂

Anyway, I was excited to share this news with you and update you all on the excitement.

Hi all… thank you for your patience! -News

Hi all, thank you for your patience! It’s been trying times here, as some of you know I spent time up at Mom and Dad’s house, helping out. In a past post I wrote about my Mother becoming a Paraplegic just over a year ago, she’s paralyzed from the diaphragm down.

My Mother at home in bed with teddy bear
My Mother (Nancy) at home while I was there helping out. She held the Teddy Bear and I HAD to grab my camera.

My Father had surgery removing a benign lump, that he’s had for years and yet kept growing, from between his shoulder blades. When the surgeon was removing the lump Dad heart a LOT of snipping as they removed all the roots, some of which obviously were attached to muscle so obviously he couldn’t really lift Mom up.

The day after my Fathers surgery, my Mother got very very sick with a high fever and we took her to the ER, where they treated her for contagious infections (we had to gown up and glove up to be in with her) and for pneumonia. (It was so difficult not being able to pat Mom’s hand and face with my bare hands, as well as kiss her). We spent our days in her hospital room visiting, so I couldn’t get online with my laptop.

My Father is now healed up. Mom is home now and no longer on 5 different Antibiotics, she’s now on several, really super strong, antibiotics (some for the hospital borne infection that is Antibiotic resistant, so it doesn’t go away ever instead they can calm it with strong antibiotics) all IV antibiotics. Thankfully Mom has a port so it’s easier to use the IV’s at home and since it’s hard to get a good vein for IV’s.

Me personally, I wondered around walking on a, as the specialist/surgeon said, “A very angry Achilles Tendon. And I’ve been just dealing with the pain, until 2 weeks ago. Two weeks ago I went to the Surgeon and she placed me in a walking cast, and tomorrow I go in to be checked again to see what does or doesn’t need to be done, looks like I will need physical therapy eventually. So my pain level has been way way up, with nerve pain acting up from walking funny, as well as the tendonitis in my hands and my upper neck (where the skull attaches to my neck)… as well as, of course, my lower back sciatica going down into my hips, legs and feet. Lets top that all off with Spring like rains flaring up the arthritis & my other ankle being in pain as a result of, again, walking funny.

As if all this isn’t enough, Comcast has been acting up with the DNS Connectivity to the Internet for weeks and my blog going down temporarily whenever I post. All of which I’ve been trying to solve ever since I returned home from my parents house.

Want to top it all off? Well, being that my husband and I are on Disability, we’ve had to cut out a lot of things from our budget as we pay for all our specialists, and so on… we just cannot afford much and are maxing out the credit cards as we cannot afford our medications and the specialists and still eat. So we’ve had to do without to try and survive and keep our roof over our heads, so with all this going on I admit, I have been about at wits end with so many worries, things that need to get done and things that need me to repair them. There is never enough time in the day!

Oh and of course, with the spring like weather, my husband had his heart act up from mowing the lawn, so he had to, for the first time, use his little tablets for his heart (how about that, the name escapes me, too much on my mind and getting old too). So I took over the lawn work (yeah, I am stubborn in pain) and got the lawn seeded, etc… hurting myself even more.

I could go on and on. Basically it’s been so many things going on here that I have not been able to get online, and when I could my DNS Connections have been acting up and the internet connections were only available to my laptop for a few minutes at a time. And because of this DNS problem, I have not been able to fix the unavailability of the blog for a few minutes after my posting a new post.

Thank you for your patience friends, believe me, I am still alive and kicking and so is my blog! 🙂 I am just struggling right now.

Love and hugs,

Mariah