Tag Archives: health

Love Shining Through Dementia

Published on: October 10th 2015
Originally Written on: October 15th thru 18th 2014. 
Today almost a year after this was written, I am ready to share this with you all... today I 
reflect upon my last visit with Mom (in person) before her death in 
November of 2014.
black & white photo of my (Mariah Lockwood's) Mother her graduation picture
My Mother’s Graduation Picture

Through tear drenched cheeks and reddened eyes, I nod my head… I knew the moment was yet to come. “Oh God Not Yet! Not NOW!” No I dared not think of it… no it wouldn’t, it couldn’t…

God yes, it did! And tonight was the night… Tonight was the night that it really hurt once more, this time more personal than ever.

I love the lady, I love her dearly. To her I am a stranger, today we talk of old times, to her it’s a game. I nod, I laugh and I reassure and sooth her soft sweet face.

The lady is so sweet and kind to me, a stranger, she doesn’t know me. She smiles, she asks me about my Mother… “She’s not alive is she honey, your mother?” “Yes (she’s alive)” I respond, “however she’s very sick, and she doesn’t remember me.” The lady lifts her feeble hand very slowly and tries to comfort me as I break down into tears. She nods and looks at me with the sweetest look, “That happens,” she says as she offers to share the quilt that she is laying under and she tells me that she’s “worried that I will get cold.”

I tell her i would share the quilt with her “but I have hot flashes, you see I am an old lady.” I ask her, “are you familiar with hot flashes?” to which she nods and tells me of the puddle left on a friends floor and how embarrasses she was. We laugh… I laugh. She ensures me that I am not old (she has been repeatedly calling me a little girl since we have been talking today)… she is so very sweet, kind and loving to me, a complete stranger in her eyes.

We talk of times long ago, she talks of these things she had experienced with her daughter, her daughter Mariah. She talks of the love she has for that daughter and of the silly things that her daughter had done and her devilish antics. How she made her laugh and how she even acted mad, although she wasn’t really. She tells me of the remarkable person her daughter is and how she loves her artwork (painting) and how she wishes that her daughter would spend more time creating, painting etc. We laugh, talk and I hear the stories of this daughter of hers, I ask questions and I hear nothing but a heart full of love.

A picture of my mother laying in bed.
My beautiful Mother about a year before her death.

It is time to get some sleep after a full day and I wish her “good night Mom,” a mistake was made again as I called her Mom. I hear her scold, yelling across the house to me “I am not your Mother!!” This is not meant out of anything but love that she says this, I know that… she is concerned for the “young lady” that she has been talking to all day. The pain in my heart is real and tears start to flow again, I just want my Mother to know me… I know too that this hurts Dad as well as he’d been telling her over and over again that I am their eldest daughter Mariah.

Oct 16th, I awake with eyes swollen from my crying the previous night. I am ready for the day however, refreshed and loving this woman, my Mother more than ever. I hope that if I ever experience dementia that I could show love to whomever I see and talk to, like my Mother… My Mother who is now her true self, her basic self, she is truly a very loving and nurturing self.

Mom, wakes up and first thing she tells me is, “No matter what anyone else says, you are my daughter…” My Spirit Soars! however she continues “… my daughter in spirit.” My heart sinks for a minute, and yet I manage a smile and thank her. Then upon reflection, I discover that in me is suddenly a huge happiness, “How fitting” I think to myself “how true, in spirit indeed.” I smile to myself and think, “WOW! Who gets to pick their children? My Mother would choose me as her child”. Deep down in her soul, I feel she knows me in some unreachable place she feels (but not knowing why) that we have a special connection.

Mom and Dad
Mom and Dad

The day is spent talking, while she is awake, doing her makeup with her wonderful airbrushed makeup and again doing her lashes with the 3D mascara… I watch and giggle as she flirts with Dad, fluttering her eyelashes as she has since I first got up there on the 11th. She gingerly lifts up her hands and reaches for his loving face to caress and kiss him. I tease and say “Oh mush!” Such love she shows for my Dad, I am touched to see these two still so in love!

Dementia is hard to take my friends, but I discovered, through this, the loving, caring and nurturing spirit of my Mother, a truly beautiful soul. her love shines through dementia or Alzheimer’s…

Today is November 3rd and the news is not good… my Mother is “shutting down,” she doesn’t have long to live now as her body is just giving up. February of 2013 my Mother lost use of her legs during surgery, and dementia started to be noticeable a few months ago. I am going to travel back up to my parents house and spend time with my Father and visiting my Mother daily (with Dad of course) at the Hospice place where she is currently.

Please send blessings, good thoughts and prayers for my family and my parents friends as we all go through this difficult time.

Bless you all, may your days be filled with health, love, warmth and feeling appreciated,


Life Goes On – Health & Aging Parents

Hi folks, life does go on even in the midst of family medical issues and the blog goes on too… like a living thing, ever changing and growing. The theme of the blog is slowly changing as I strive to deal with a lot of things that life hands me and my family. I will be doing more personal sharing here, as life goes on and I try to deal. I am getting older (I am 51 years old) and as I look at the world around me I see life changing as I face the facts that not only am I aging, but my parents are aging too. Issues arise for those of us that are disabled as it is, then suddenly you realize that things can change very fast with age as well as those we love.

Growing Plum crazy at my house 1First lets start off with my personal latest. As some of you know, from a previous post, my plum tree went wild this year with a lot of plums and this time I had used some techniques to save the plums from insects, birds and squirrels. To make a long story short, I took a fall off from the ladder when I picked plums off the highest branches of the plum tree, I shouldn’t have done that without someone below me, but I did. *sigh* I had weeks of recovery and am still recovering to this day. Life goes on, right? Yup, I have some catch up to do here.

In the mean time…. many things have happened in the past year and a half and are continue multiplying to this very day.

A picture of my Mother, pre drastic weight loss and a few years back.
My Mother in better times, on prednisone in the picture, and a few years back.

My Mother, as most of you are aware, had become a Paraplegic as of February of  last year. So many changes have happened since. My family, my Mother and Father in particular have found themselves in a whole new lifestyle as a result. Being paralyzed from the diaphragm downward, there are many other things things that one doesn’t expect that go right along with the paralyzed persons new lifestyle, of course their caretakers lifestyle too shall be changed drastically. There are diapers, catheters, wipes, and if they are like my Mother, a struggle as they suddenly can be so much less active. My Mother, prior to the paralysis, was a very active person and it drives her crazy being idle.

1 from Michelle's Facebook post. Mom and Dad St. Pats Day 2013
The full picture that my sister took of Mom being a sport wearing St. Pats Day Sunglasses. And my father in the St Pats Day hat.

We were so happy when Mom finally got her electric chair, which took months and months for the insurance to find it needed, especially with her lack of arm strength due to her bad neck the electric wheel chair was needed. The electric wheel chair isn’t very intuitive and you must operate it about the opposite of where you want it to go, so it ended up that Dad has to operate it for her. Mom even managed to break a foot due to her trying to use it.

The electric wheel chair was uncomfortable as it came and so Dad purchased a cushion that cost hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Here they waited for the cushion and then, of course, they found that it was not a good purchase for Mom or the wheel chair. I believe the problem was it was tipping her forward… my facts become muddled over time, forgive me.

Mariah and Mother Valentines Day
Mom, made me laugh so hard! She kept trying to hide my cleavage with the peach shawl I made for her. lol Here we are hamming it up for the picture on Valentines Day.

However we were so fortunate that Mom, even as uncomfortable as the cushion can be, joined us for Valentines Day to Celebrate at our local Legion. We take turns going to Dad’s and my hubbies American Legion to celebrate. We do this less now with Mom’s health issues.

Further Health Issues with Aging and Paralysis:

My Mother is paralyzed from the waist down and I’ve been told that her diaphragm lacks the ability to help her produce a good cough now. As a result my Mother has had pneumonia quite a few times. Mom and Dad’s bed is raised up where their heads rest to avoid this, but there is only so much one can do.

My Mother at home in bed with teddy bear
My Mother (Nancy) at home while I was there helping out. She held the Teddy Bear and I HAD to grab my camera.

My Mother had a bed sore that wouldn’t go away, the specialist in wounds looked at her bed sore and described it as looking just like a gun shot wound. This wound finally had a solution with the use of stem cells! Finally, the wound that just wouldn’t go away with conventional methods, had met it’s match!  The stem cells were a miracle! This is indeed the way to go. And my parents now have a special device on their mattress that avoids bed soars by moving the pressure points on a regular basis.

Of course with catheters, and diapers there are other problems that arose, diaper rash and UTI’s. The first UTI (Urinary Track Infection) had us scared to death! We were sure she had a stroke, hubby and I traveled through a blizzard to go to the ER and be by my Mothers side… taking an hour and a half to get to what should have taken us only 45 minutes. Finally we learned that Mom’s talking and not making actual words or making any sense was because of the UTI. This happened a few times and we worried about possible damage to her brain.

Tears in my Eyes, this is very difficult to discuss:

I have blamed the UTI’s, The Active Woman now laying in bed most of the time (the wheel chair makes her uncomfortable) and I also blame her medications. Perhaps this would have happened without all of this, but I feel I need to blame something.

Here is the most difficult part, Mom suddenly called me late one night in a panic… “Mariah, there is a Man here… he’s a stranger, he is not your father! The man is living with us and I am scared!” “Please Mariah, come up here… I am fearing for my life!” Mom suddenly couldn’t recognize my father, I spoke to Dad… when I got off the phone I called one of my 4 brothers and asked him to go to the house. I cried, my old beater of a car was acting up and I had less than a 1/4 of a tank of gas and we had several days before hubby would have his disability check so that we could afford our gas.

I tell  you friends, it is hard to watch this happen to a parent… what is worse is now she is forgetting that she can’t walk and she tried to get out of bed, the other week, and she fell breaking her neck! Dad took her to the ER in terrible pain and they took x-rays, sending her home. The next day Mom ran a fever and Dad again took her to the ER in terrible pain. That day the doctor at the ER looked at the x-rays, from the previous day, and noted that Mom broke her neck. Luckily it was a hairline fracture and just a cervical collar was what she needed and heavier pain meds than she was already on.

Mom's Superhero's Not All Wear Capes
This is my Mother, a true Superhero, without a cape. 6 wonderful kids (me? well that is debatable) and we were all brought up well! My Mother is a true Superhero!

Mom has had a life full of activity until last year, I couldn’t keep up with her. Now in conversations, she says things that aren’t real and never have been. She does have her very lucid moments, she asked Dad the other day, when she got home. Then she described what she’s been going through as “very vivid dreams.”

Life goes on, though sometimes I feel that the world should stop turning and hold still for a while.

This has been the most difficult post ever. I have posted this in the hopes that someone out there may find that they are not alone, I know that I am not, thanks to all the terrific people out there in social media. Twitter is full of wonderful people folks, if you don’t belong to twitter or have a local support system, I highly recommend you seek out a support system for yourself. after and before from youinque fiberlash product pg

Folks, I want to add one more thing… I am trying to make ends meet so that I am never short of gas money to travel to see my parents again. And as a result of my loving my 3D Fiber Lashes I have joined Younique as an Independent Presenter, please feel free to check out the products that are on my Younique page. If you wish to have an online party, please let me know. 🙂

Love and hugs,


Replaced Aleve with Natural Turmeric Supplement – Review

Hi friends, I just replaced Aleve with Natural Turmeric Supplement from Nutraviva. I hadn’t heard of the benefits of Turmeric before, but looking it up online it sounded like some sort of snake oil… but you know me, I had to try it. Anything that can help with a lot of my problems with chronic pain and is all natural… well, who could blame me? 🙂

I loved the sounds of the Premium Natural Turmeric Supplement by Nutraviva… so there we go, I ordered it on Amazon!

This supplement has been used for centuries for many problems that we experience, especially as we age or have a autoimmune disease (like I do). The uses, reportedly are for an antioxidant, anti-inflammatory. Sounds great for Arthritis!

Why Else Would I Take Turmeric Curcumin?

Benefits of Nutraviva Turmeric Supplement
Benefits of Nutraviva Turmeric Supplement

Turmeric from Nutraviva is a C3 Complex with Bioperine (which, with my studies on Bioperine, it looks as though it’s added to this product to maximize absorption of the Turmeric. And here is what else the company says about their product:

  • Get the Best Value: Our Turmeric is 2000% More Bioavailable: Enhanced with Bioperine®

  • Rest Assured We use Zero Fillers/Binders/Preservatives/Artificial Ingredients to Provide Our Customers the Cleanest Turmeric Supplment We Can.

  • Standardized 95% Curcuminoids (the KEY Ingredients). We are NOT Selling Root Powder, but Instead More Concentrated Curcuminoids.

  • 120 Turmeric Capsules in Each Bottle for 2-3 Months Supply.

  • Clean & Pure: NO Stearates, NO Silicone Dioxide, NO Titanium Dioxide

The Turmeric Curcumin also is:

  • 100% Natural
  • No Additives
  • Non GMO

1 UPC Code label Covering Instructions for use of  Nutraviva TurmericI received my bottle in no time at all from my Amazon order, I started taking the Nutraviva as recommended (1 capsule 3 times per day). One problem I had? The label had another label stuck on top of the directions, so after I tried peeling the label off, to no avail, I went online to Amazon and looked at the page that I ordered the supplement from, to discover the dosage. Now I admit that, at first I was taking one capsule a day, until I checked out the Amazon site where I ordered my supplement. I have now written over the label the correct amount for my husband and I to take. I switched to the correct amount I, on occasion, forgot to take it 3 times a day (I only eat 1 to 2 meals a day). I solved the forgetfulness, on my part, by placing the tablets in my daily medicine holder, in 3 of the 4 daily pill compartments.

Nutraviva Turmeric Bottle and Capsule
These Capsules are small enough to swallow easily… I love that!

I have been taking the proper amount of the Turmeric Curcumin Supplement for about 2 weeks now. Usually I have a problem with some supplements and, for me, I haven’t gotten the usual burps and I haven’t had any churning in my tummy either.

I did realize that thanks to the supplement, I was able to drop taking my Aleve (naproxen), yes I have indeed replaced my Aleve now! What was the problem with Aleve? Well my pain doctor has me on the medicinal dose of Aleve (naproxen). For the Naproxen I had been taking 2 tablets 2 times a day, and when things are very bad, taking in 3 times a day for a week, then dropping down to 2 by 2. <— please friends, unless you are under a doctors care and observation don’t do this with your Aleve, as it can seriously mess with you and your tummy! Trust me the on the highest dose my pain doctor had me on I did get a lot of side effects, a churning tummy, bloating, burping, indigestion, constipation etc.

As you can guess, I am so relieved that I don’t have to deal with the Aleve and deal with the side effects of it any longer! I am absolutely hooked on the Nutraviva Turmeric Supplement, and not in a bad way! Lol I am hooked because it has helped my Arthritis and that this is a Natural product (which always makes me smile). This doesn’t totally help my chronic pain from Fibromyalgia, pinched nerves, arthritis and Lupus SLE, nor does it help 100% with my husband’s pain from his Fibromyalgia, injured back, arthritis and nerve pain… but every little bit helps! If you are like my husband and me, you understand that even a slight improvement (without noticeable side effects) makes a difference in your daily life and comfort level.

Thank you so much to Nutraviva for the wonderful product, I have now replaced Aleve with your wonderful supplement! You helped me get off from something with terrible side effects and into Premium Natural Turmeric Supplement. which is a help for me and now my husband too! 🙂

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Zoom On In to Eye Health – Supplement Review

Disclosure: I got this product as part of an advertorial.


Jeepers Creepers Where’d you get them Peepers… Jeepers Creepers Where’d you get those eyes?

Oh pardon me, I just HAD to do that and inject the ol’ Frank Sinatra song in here… *clearing my throat* Okay back to business.

Zoom Vision BoxZoom, what a cute name for this Eye Health Supplement. I was lucky enough to take another product from BioTerra Herbs for a test drive. Now really, you don’t “see” the results but I tell you, as you reach 40ish your eyes will start to go and out come the reading glasses, folks. It would have been nice if I had heard the buzz about all the Eye Health Supplements when I was younger, perhaps I could have saved some of my vision? And added me in, perhaps not getting the starting of cataracts,  who knows. Of course I am particularly difficult subject for solving the problem, I live in sunny, over a mile high area of Colorado and I don’t always wear my sunglasses, though both my sunglasses and my eyeglasses I made sure have 100% UV protection. I also have been on dosages, in the past, of steroids for my Lupus SLE and this is a huge risk factor for cataracts to my understanding.

BioTerra Herbs LogoI love BioTerra Herbs, I have reviewed their supplement called “Huh?” previously and I was very pleased with it, so as you can imagine I was pleased as punch to have a chance to review another product of theirs.

Now the ingredients in this Herbal Eye Health Supplement are new to me, so I really cannot speak for what they do our how they work on the eyes. But I do trust the BioTerra Brand.

The ingredients are Free of GMO’s, they are Gluten Free (naturally) and Vegan. Nice huh?

The ingredients, although I don’t know much about them, except for what I could find online (and you can to) are short and sweet, here they are:

Lycium (fruit), Chrysanthemum (yup, the flower), Jujube (not to be mistaken for the candy I loved as a teen, this is an actual fruit), Asian Water Plantain (the rhizome) and Astragalus (the root).

With Vegetarian Capsules and rice flour

And here is BioTerra Herbs words on the side of the box (shows some of their fantastic sense of humor):

Is it just us, or do our eyes go greatly under-appreciated? They do some pretty marvelous stuff for us, yet we rarely take the time to throw a little love their way. From staring at a computer screen for hours on end, to tossing a flirty wink to the cutie at the coffee shop, or expressing our every emotion (it’s okay, man, everyone cries sometimes). Those little peepers are Rockstars! Whether they are itchy, dry, strained or tired, we’ve got you covered! So the time has come, dear friends, to take care of those eyes and see strong!

Now I have to say, I did spend the whole night awake last night, do to the weather outside and it seems to be true that it helps with tired and itchy eyes. When I have terrible pain nights, like I did last night, my eyes get itchy and tired. And now that I think of it, it didn’t happen at all last night and still as I sit awake typing my eyes are not dry or itchy… strange until I typed out what the side of the box said, it didn’t occur to me that I could see results of the product on myself. Guess Zoom is that good, good enough that I hadn’t even realized it was working! How about that? Nice!

Anyway, take care of those peepers folks, they are very precious!

Here you can see the “lineup” of other products made by BioTerra Herbs… check ’em out (just click on the picture and it will take you to their site).

Herbal Supplements by BioTerra the lineup

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Sabi Chop – Minimal effort pill cutter – Review

Disclosure: I got this product as part of an advertorial.

Hi all, I have received a Sabi Chop to review and I was so excited to try this little cutie. The package arrived safe and sound to my home, the instructions on the package were simple, use your palm and cut. 🙂

I have some cutters for my tablets around the house, one I gave to my husband is very efficient and is about 5 years old, my other one (which I rarely use) is about 12 years old at this time and the tablets get a bit crushed as it cuts as the blade is getting dull. So I felt it was about time to have a new pill splitter and I was so excited to get this product to review.

chop package front and back side by side. pill, tablet or vitamin splitter/cutterI received the Sabi Chop pill/tablet splitter in a very timely manner from my ordering on Amazon. The packaging was simple but perfect, I am sure that this helps keep down the price.

Using the Chop:

closeup Sabi Chop closed

I opened up this little cutie and had a tablet to cut, I first tried a round tablet and realized that the pad was made really for oblong shaped pills or vitamins. The cut was a bit crushed as I looked at the crumbs of the slit in the Chop.

Second trial, I went and got an oblong tablet and set the Chop on a solid surface, again smooching down the top with my palm. Upon opening up this little cutie (gee that chop is so cute)… I saw again the crumbs in the middle of the pad from “cutting” the tablet.

Old Cutter vs Sabi ChopTime to investigate, why I am getting these results:

Time to investigate what is going on with a new blade doing this to our medications. I opened up the Chop and found that instead of a metal razor blade placed in it, there is a plastic blade (if you can call it that). Well I compared the tablet split to the older dull razor blade type cutter and I found that the Chop was about the same results.

closeup of Sabi Chop so called "blade"My thoughts on Sabi’s Chop:

The Chop tablet splitter is easier to use, but you do have to put some oomph behind your pill splitting though and that is why it’s perfectly shaped for using your palm.

Sabi Chop Palm pill splitterThe cut is that of an old razor blade type pill splitters with a lot of particles from your tablets left behind.

Although the cutter is not as good as my newer (4-year-old) razor blade type pill splitter, this product could be brought in your carry on bag on an Airplane! This I feel is a BIG plus with Airlines charging what they do now for checking your bag in, most of us will now be going the route of the carry on and that is it for our trips.

You can find the Sabi Chop sold on Amazon CLICK HERE.

You can also find Sabi on the Internet here:

CHOP is made by Sabi:
Website: http://www.sabi.com
Blog: blog.sabi.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Sabibrand
Twitter: @sabi_brand

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.