Tag Archives: disability

Life Goes On – Health & Aging Parents

Hi folks, life does go on even in the midst of family medical issues and the blog goes on too… like a living thing, ever changing and growing. The theme of the blog is slowly changing as I strive to deal with a lot of things that life hands me and my family. I will be doing more personal sharing here, as life goes on and I try to deal. I am getting older (I am 51 years old) and as I look at the world around me I see life changing as I face the facts that not only am I aging, but my parents are aging too. Issues arise for those of us that are disabled as it is, then suddenly you realize that things can change very fast with age as well as those we love.

Growing Plum crazy at my house 1First lets start off with my personal latest. As some of you know, from a previous post, my plum tree went wild this year with a lot of plums and this time I had used some techniques to save the plums from insects, birds and squirrels. To make a long story short, I took a fall off from the ladder when I picked plums off the highest branches of the plum tree, I shouldn’t have done that without someone below me, but I did. *sigh* I had weeks of recovery and am still recovering to this day. Life goes on, right? Yup, I have some catch up to do here.

In the mean time…. many things have happened in the past year and a half and are continue multiplying to this very day.

A picture of my Mother, pre drastic weight loss and a few years back.
My Mother in better times, on prednisone in the picture, and a few years back.

My Mother, as most of you are aware, had become a Paraplegic as of February of  last year. So many changes have happened since. My family, my Mother and Father in particular have found themselves in a whole new lifestyle as a result. Being paralyzed from the diaphragm downward, there are many other things things that one doesn’t expect that go right along with the paralyzed persons new lifestyle, of course their caretakers lifestyle too shall be changed drastically. There are diapers, catheters, wipes, and if they are like my Mother, a struggle as they suddenly can be so much less active. My Mother, prior to the paralysis, was a very active person and it drives her crazy being idle.

1 from Michelle's Facebook post. Mom and Dad St. Pats Day 2013
The full picture that my sister took of Mom being a sport wearing St. Pats Day Sunglasses. And my father in the St Pats Day hat.

We were so happy when Mom finally got her electric chair, which took months and months for the insurance to find it needed, especially with her lack of arm strength due to her bad neck the electric wheel chair was needed. The electric wheel chair isn’t very intuitive and you must operate it about the opposite of where you want it to go, so it ended up that Dad has to operate it for her. Mom even managed to break a foot due to her trying to use it.

The electric wheel chair was uncomfortable as it came and so Dad purchased a cushion that cost hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Here they waited for the cushion and then, of course, they found that it was not a good purchase for Mom or the wheel chair. I believe the problem was it was tipping her forward… my facts become muddled over time, forgive me.

Mariah and Mother Valentines Day
Mom, made me laugh so hard! She kept trying to hide my cleavage with the peach shawl I made for her. lol Here we are hamming it up for the picture on Valentines Day.

However we were so fortunate that Mom, even as uncomfortable as the cushion can be, joined us for Valentines Day to Celebrate at our local Legion. We take turns going to Dad’s and my hubbies American Legion to celebrate. We do this less now with Mom’s health issues.

Further Health Issues with Aging and Paralysis:

My Mother is paralyzed from the waist down and I’ve been told that her diaphragm lacks the ability to help her produce a good cough now. As a result my Mother has had pneumonia quite a few times. Mom and Dad’s bed is raised up where their heads rest to avoid this, but there is only so much one can do.

My Mother at home in bed with teddy bear
My Mother (Nancy) at home while I was there helping out. She held the Teddy Bear and I HAD to grab my camera.

My Mother had a bed sore that wouldn’t go away, the specialist in wounds looked at her bed sore and described it as looking just like a gun shot wound. This wound finally had a solution with the use of stem cells! Finally, the wound that just wouldn’t go away with conventional methods, had met it’s match!  The stem cells were a miracle! This is indeed the way to go. And my parents now have a special device on their mattress that avoids bed soars by moving the pressure points on a regular basis.

Of course with catheters, and diapers there are other problems that arose, diaper rash and UTI’s. The first UTI (Urinary Track Infection) had us scared to death! We were sure she had a stroke, hubby and I traveled through a blizzard to go to the ER and be by my Mothers side… taking an hour and a half to get to what should have taken us only 45 minutes. Finally we learned that Mom’s talking and not making actual words or making any sense was because of the UTI. This happened a few times and we worried about possible damage to her brain.

Tears in my Eyes, this is very difficult to discuss:

I have blamed the UTI’s, The Active Woman now laying in bed most of the time (the wheel chair makes her uncomfortable) and I also blame her medications. Perhaps this would have happened without all of this, but I feel I need to blame something.

Here is the most difficult part, Mom suddenly called me late one night in a panic… “Mariah, there is a Man here… he’s a stranger, he is not your father! The man is living with us and I am scared!” “Please Mariah, come up here… I am fearing for my life!” Mom suddenly couldn’t recognize my father, I spoke to Dad… when I got off the phone I called one of my 4 brothers and asked him to go to the house. I cried, my old beater of a car was acting up and I had less than a 1/4 of a tank of gas and we had several days before hubby would have his disability check so that we could afford our gas.

I tell  you friends, it is hard to watch this happen to a parent… what is worse is now she is forgetting that she can’t walk and she tried to get out of bed, the other week, and she fell breaking her neck! Dad took her to the ER in terrible pain and they took x-rays, sending her home. The next day Mom ran a fever and Dad again took her to the ER in terrible pain. That day the doctor at the ER looked at the x-rays, from the previous day, and noted that Mom broke her neck. Luckily it was a hairline fracture and just a cervical collar was what she needed and heavier pain meds than she was already on.

Mom's Superhero's Not All Wear Capes
This is my Mother, a true Superhero, without a cape. 6 wonderful kids (me? well that is debatable) and we were all brought up well! My Mother is a true Superhero!

Mom has had a life full of activity until last year, I couldn’t keep up with her. Now in conversations, she says things that aren’t real and never have been. She does have her very lucid moments, she asked Dad the other day, when she got home. Then she described what she’s been going through as “very vivid dreams.”

Life goes on, though sometimes I feel that the world should stop turning and hold still for a while.

This has been the most difficult post ever. I have posted this in the hopes that someone out there may find that they are not alone, I know that I am not, thanks to all the terrific people out there in social media. Twitter is full of wonderful people folks, if you don’t belong to twitter or have a local support system, I highly recommend you seek out a support system for yourself. after and before from youinque fiberlash product pg

Folks, I want to add one more thing… I am trying to make ends meet so that I am never short of gas money to travel to see my parents again. And as a result of my loving my 3D Fiber Lashes I have joined Younique as an Independent Presenter, please feel free to check out the products that are on my Younique page. If you wish to have an online party, please let me know. 🙂

Love and hugs,

Mariah

Pulling Into The Slow Lane – Blog News

 

I am pulling into the slow lane here as I deal with issues at home and stressors in my life. I need to deal with things here and so my posts will be slowing down. My mind is muddled and scattered right now and I realize I must deal with situations that have just popped up in my life. Sometimes life throws us all a curve ball, but we all have stuff to deal with in real life. Wisdom comes when we realize it’s time to slow down and time to deal with the problems that come up, right?

I know that this is a strange post, but I want to share with you the reason for my lack of posts going on this week and my slowing down as time goes on here. My stress level is at max, I am dealing with neck-ache headaches all the time and it hasn’t help that I have started stressing more and more lately. I find that I hold my in my neck and shoulders as we deal with multiple situations here at home. Pain already makes it difficult to function, and with spinal stenosis in the neck and other vertebrae and it makes it hard at times to type, much less think, it is worse right now.

I am a wreck at the moment folks, my stress level and emotions running amok.

I am making an effort to write this out so I can share with you some events in life, it’s both therapeutic for me to share and it may help others know that they are not alone.

Animated_NewsboyLet my start off with what all is happening at home here:

  • As you all may or may not know my Mother lost use of her legs from back surgery a year and a half ago, Dad and Mom have agreed to get home hospice care for Mom now.
  • My husband had 4 stints put in his heart one year ago and he’s due for his yearly stress test.
  • We are still dealing with Contractors and Insurance for the hail damage on our home and our detached garage, over 2 months since our claim.
  • Insurance wouldn’t cover the damage to the siding on the garage, but they did allow for our repainting. So hubby and I, disabled, are dealing with replacing the siding, caulking and painting little by little as we are in such pain it is taking us a long time. And we still have to address the black mold in the garage additions.
  • Financial situations with being disabled and dealing with medications and doctors expenses.

We still haven’t had the roof repaired as there are concerns with getting it up to code, it seems that the extensions on the detached garage have problems with the way that they were built, years before we bought the house. One side roof has not been slanted correctly and needs special treatment to repair for it to get it up to code. The other side has an extension on it as well and the roof needs some sort of thing called an ice shield over top of that too. I don’t understand all of this construction stuff, but we are dealing with Insurance, Roofing Contractors and local Code Inspectors to get this 2 month plus situation resolved. Once the roof is replaced hubby and I can take care of the black mold inside the extensions.

Close up of Mariah hubby after heart surgeryI’ve been stressing over hubby’s heart since lately he’s been feeling flutters in it and just as I am writing this the Cardiologists office just called and said that he is not approved for the stress test, by the insurance company. *sigh* Here I was stressing about Friday, worried for the worst possible scenario, and we now have it all postponed when we’ve been waiting for this and knowing something is wrong. Now a longer wait to see the Cardiologist is in order and the stress test, which caused a heart attack last year will be later, once our insurance approves it. *sigh*

We have financial concerns here, this is the reason for my having affiliate banners on my blog, in hopes that folks may be interested in ordering from these companies and I may earn some money on the blog to help us with our financial worries here. Some months it costs us $300 to $400 extra dollars for doctors visits and already our medications are putting our credit cards to their limits. Now with our Insurance claim, extra specialists for both hubby and I we are over extending ourselves. As it is one of the medications that helped hubby and I for our chronic pain issues, we cannot afford so we go without. However there are medications that are necessary for my husband’s heart and the stints put in last year.

My Mother at home in bed with teddy bear
My Mother (Nancy) at home while I was there helping out. She held the Teddy Bear and I HAD to grab my camera.

 

 

My husband and I being disabled do what we can to help me get up to my parents home in the foothills here in Colorado. Gas prices are bad enough, but since I wear out from a long car ride and I can seldom drive more than 20 minutes without severe pain flare, it takes time and energy for me to get up there. I spend about 10 days up there when I go, and I try to do what I can to help out. My parents finally gave in a year and a half after doctors recommended Hospice Care for Mom at home, and this has caused major misunderstandings and great emotions from one of my siblings. It all comes out of love but that sibling is blinded by his misunderstanding the meaning of hospice care, he believes it’s substandard care and end of life care.

my hands forming a heart, with the words "Asking for Blessings and thoughts of strength, the warmth of love and of wellbeing for my Father and Mother

I know that most of you don’t know how hyper sensitive I am, but I’m dealing with being scolded, knocked down verbally on the phone and treated like I don’t care about my Mother… all because I tried to calm a sibling down from being upset about Home Hospice Care for Mom, really upset me. This option of Home Hospice Care does not mean we  expect Mom to die anytime soon, nor does it mean substandard medical care. Understandably all this does indeed come out of love and concern for Mom. But I wish that it was understood that I didn’t feel that this was news that should have anyone mad at me for not sharing, when my parents shared it with me… I was relieved, knowing some about this care, that my parents finally got this help at home with Mom. Knowing that I am thought of as not caring and that I don’t feel that an emergency is going on really hurts me and of course has added to my stress level.

Anyhow folks, like I said my brain is overwhelmed, muddled and scattered right now, I hope that this post (although venting some) makes sense to you all. I am an emotional wreck at this moment in time and I need to slow down and cope with home life and real life situations right now.

Thank you said in many languagesThank you so much for all of your wonderful readers, for being here for me at times like this! I don’t know if you all realize how very much this means to me that you are so understanding and I appreciate all your wonderful thoughts and prayers heading to me, my husband, my family and my parents.

Love and hugs,

Mariah