I am pulling into the slow lane here as I deal with issues at home and stressors in my life. I need to deal with things here and so my posts will be slowing down. My mind is muddled and scattered right now and I realize I must deal with situations that have just popped up in my life. Sometimes life throws us all a curve ball, but we all have stuff to deal with in real life. Wisdom comes when we realize it’s time to slow down and time to deal with the problems that come up, right?
I know that this is a strange post, but I want to share with you the reason for my lack of posts going on this week and my slowing down as time goes on here. My stress level is at max, I am dealing with neck-ache headaches all the time and it hasn’t help that I have started stressing more and more lately. I find that I hold my in my neck and shoulders as we deal with multiple situations here at home. Pain already makes it difficult to function, and with spinal stenosis in the neck and other vertebrae and it makes it hard at times to type, much less think, it is worse right now.
I am a wreck at the moment folks, my stress level and emotions running amok.
I am making an effort to write this out so I can share with you some events in life, it’s both therapeutic for me to share and it may help others know that they are not alone.
- As you all may or may not know my Mother lost use of her legs from back surgery a year and a half ago, Dad and Mom have agreed to get home hospice care for Mom now.
- My husband had 4 stints put in his heart one year ago and he’s due for his yearly stress test.
- We are still dealing with Contractors and Insurance for the hail damage on our home and our detached garage, over 2 months since our claim.
- Insurance wouldn’t cover the damage to the siding on the garage, but they did allow for our repainting. So hubby and I, disabled, are dealing with replacing the siding, caulking and painting little by little as we are in such pain it is taking us a long time. And we still have to address the black mold in the garage additions.
- Financial situations with being disabled and dealing with medications and doctors expenses.
We still haven’t had the roof repaired as there are concerns with getting it up to code, it seems that the extensions on the detached garage have problems with the way that they were built, years before we bought the house. One side roof has not been slanted correctly and needs special treatment to repair for it to get it up to code. The other side has an extension on it as well and the roof needs some sort of thing called an ice shield over top of that too. I don’t understand all of this construction stuff, but we are dealing with Insurance, Roofing Contractors and local Code Inspectors to get this 2 month plus situation resolved. Once the roof is replaced hubby and I can take care of the black mold inside the extensions.
I’ve been stressing over hubby’s heart since lately he’s been feeling flutters in it and just as I am writing this the Cardiologists office just called and said that he is not approved for the stress test, by the insurance company. *sigh* Here I was stressing about Friday, worried for the worst possible scenario, and we now have it all postponed when we’ve been waiting for this and knowing something is wrong. Now a longer wait to see the Cardiologist is in order and the stress test, which caused a heart attack last year will be later, once our insurance approves it. *sigh*
We have financial concerns here, this is the reason for my having affiliate banners on my blog, in hopes that folks may be interested in ordering from these companies and I may earn some money on the blog to help us with our financial worries here. Some months it costs us $300 to $400 extra dollars for doctors visits and already our medications are putting our credit cards to their limits. Now with our Insurance claim, extra specialists for both hubby and I we are over extending ourselves. As it is one of the medications that helped hubby and I for our chronic pain issues, we cannot afford so we go without. However there are medications that are necessary for my husband’s heart and the stints put in last year.
My husband and I being disabled do what we can to help me get up to my parents home in the foothills here in Colorado. Gas prices are bad enough, but since I wear out from a long car ride and I can seldom drive more than 20 minutes without severe pain flare, it takes time and energy for me to get up there. I spend about 10 days up there when I go, and I try to do what I can to help out. My parents finally gave in a year and a half after doctors recommended Hospice Care for Mom at home, and this has caused major misunderstandings and great emotions from one of my siblings. It all comes out of love but that sibling is blinded by his misunderstanding the meaning of hospice care, he believes it’s substandard care and end of life care.
I know that most of you don’t know how hyper sensitive I am, but I’m dealing with being scolded, knocked down verbally on the phone and treated like I don’t care about my Mother… all because I tried to calm a sibling down from being upset about Home Hospice Care for Mom, really upset me. This option of Home Hospice Care does not mean we expect Mom to die anytime soon, nor does it mean substandard medical care. Understandably all this does indeed come out of love and concern for Mom. But I wish that it was understood that I didn’t feel that this was news that should have anyone mad at me for not sharing, when my parents shared it with me… I was relieved, knowing some about this care, that my parents finally got this help at home with Mom. Knowing that I am thought of as not caring and that I don’t feel that an emergency is going on really hurts me and of course has added to my stress level.
Anyhow folks, like I said my brain is overwhelmed, muddled and scattered right now, I hope that this post (although venting some) makes sense to you all. I am an emotional wreck at this moment in time and I need to slow down and cope with home life and real life situations right now.
Thank you so much for all of your wonderful readers, for being here for me at times like this! I don’t know if you all realize how very much this means to me that you are so understanding and I appreciate all your wonderful thoughts and prayers heading to me, my husband, my family and my parents.
Love and hugs,